#i need to do more screencap studies!!!

[exhaustedalien]

If you're cold etc etc

[a-shadowedvales]

LETS TALK ABOUT BECKY IVES FOR A MINUTE!

when you think about becky, you have to remember that she spent at least four years listening to terry’s “crazy theories” about hawkins lab, and the big bad man taking jane away. she knew terry took part in “hippie crap” and assumed that messed with her head. that those experiences combined with miscarrying in the third trimester had a terrible strain on her mental health, ultimately losing her connection to reality. she spent those years watching terry fight and lose legal battles against brenner and hawkins. she pleaded for her to stop, to get help, as their relationship grew stressed and strained because becky didn’t believe her, and terry hated her for it.

and then when terry’s mind was completely broken, she spent her days and nights caring for her. the show never touched on this. just what did becky think happened to terry? what story was she told? was terry put into a random hospital with doctors from hawkins lab, under a guise of caring for her, just to tell becky there was some kind of accident? maybe a car accident. did they claim the drugs used in the mk ultra testing from all those years ago took affect on her mind? probably not, because then becky would be in an opportunity to sue. i highly doubt there would have been any mention of the lab, opposed to some, "unfortunate accident." it really bugs me that there’s no story about what becky believed made terry catatonic. terry knew becky didn’t believe her, and as such, definitely did not tell her about her plans to break into the lab. so a story could have easily been concocted.

and then, one random day, a kid shows up at her doorstep, claiming to be the daughter she didn’t believe existed. immediately, by jane opening the door with her mind, becky held some kind of belief for she'd heard terry’s rants about her baby being used for experiments, experiments which gave her powers. and in comes jane, demanding to see her mother, able to open a locked door, blood dripping from her nose. all too soon she realises that there has so be some semblance of truth. the girl says her name is jane: she fits all the descriptions. the descriptions of the niece she never had. this child who her sister fought tooth and nail to get back. i can’t even imagine the guilt that would begin to fester for not believing terry, for thinking she was having a mental break, for trying to get her to see therapists and get her some real, serious help.

scared and confused for herself and her sister, and unable to fathom what is happening, what does she do? she comforts jane. there is distance, there’s awkwardness, but this girl is her blood and every moment that passed only proved that she could actually be jane ives. she makes her a sandwich, tries to comfort her, tells her that her mother is in a dream. probably a good dream. she comforts and tells her that terry never stopped believing.

she always believed you were out there. she always believed you’d come home one day. home? yeah, home.

she offered her, this strange little girl, a place in her home with her and her mother. she didn’t push, she didn’t need to know everything in that moment; she focused on jane and nothing else. the girl was obviously traumatised judging by the way she spoke, the way she sheltered herself. if everything terry claimed was indeed true, then becky couldn’t even begin to think about what she’d gone through.

i wanna help you, but to really do that, i need you to talk to me, okay? it doesn’t have to be now. it doesn’t have to be today. when you’re ready, okay?

she never moved a single thing in jane’s room. although she didn’t believe terry, she respected and loved her enough to keep it exactly as she’d planned. and at least she could give jane that, the vision her mother had for her, what the first steps of their wonderful life would have been like. becky claimed terry was “stuck” living the “same dream” over and over. where becky, too, was the one who was stuck. terry became 24/7 care, and unless she had helpers (which i highly doubt), becky would have given up her job, her out of home hobbies, her entire life to care for her sister. stuck in an endless routine until jane came along and struck her with the reality of it all.

as soon as jane contacts the void, you can see becky looks on edge and nervous. which, fair enough! she asks if she can sit and watch, but doesn’t interfere or distract jane. she even sits a little further away from her, perhaps out of fear (which would be completely justified. this girl physically moved things with her mind, who knows what else she can do) or just trying to take this all in within her own time and space. but the moment, the second jane departs the void and is in a state of distress, she moves to comfort her. she isn’t sure how, and doesn’t expect it to be returned, but offers it nonetheless. as far as she knows jane just spoke to her sister; she would be dying to know what happened, if she said anything. but remains silent and focuses on the child.

unfortunately we really don’t see much else of their dynamic on screen, but it is very justified that becky contacted hawkins and tried to get a hold of hopper. he and joyce were the only ones who seemed to have some kind of understanding; of course she would want to contact them. she put on a brave face in front of jane, focused on her and her needs. but as soon as she put the bed down and jane wanted some time alone in her room, becky had a moment to breathe. to think about her, her sister, all those wasted years because she didn’t believe. so, weeks later, when she gets a phone call from a weak sounding girl, saying she was sorry, the relief is immense. when recovered from her illness after closing the gate, the first thing jane wanted to do was call her aunt. hopper got on the line after the initial apology and asked if becky would come to hawkins, so they could work things out from there.

i just think becky is such a neat, complex character for the literal twenty minutes (probably less) screen time she gets. i adore the way she treats jane, and think she is such a good influence in her life. imagine all the stories becky could tell her about terry. things no one else could. her relationship with her aunt is one like no other, for both the sake of her mother, and that she is the only true family she has ever known, or as far as she knows, even has. becky never expects anything from jane (unlike a lot of the people in her life), and in that respect, jane does actually open up to her overtime. to becky, jane isn’t a girl who’s saved the world a few times. she’s the niece she didn’t believe in, and would spend the rest of her life making it up to her and terry.

[busaikuknee]

end-of-year doodle/abandoned wip collection! did a lot more this year than i remembered

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: I thought I wasn't going to have strong opinions about the Laios-Shuro fight, but...

Laios was right about this! Yes, they had 2 physical fights first, but it's important to note that Laios was right about this!

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^ -man who would literally kill to stay in this room and observe this private conversation.

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Sir, your unfaltering little wide-eyed, amiable smile while seriously considering topics that are obviously un-smile-worth has charmed me utterly. I wish to study you like an climate-entomologist yearns for the butterfly that causes storms.

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She seems fine.

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If I start screencapping Laios's and Marcille's faces in this fight, I will never stop because literally every panel is devasting.

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Kuro has done distinctly the most damage so far this fight, just stabbing and gnawing, and I think we should recognize and appreciate that fact.

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I really miss the animation we got of Rin's lightning blast slicing narrowly past Laios.

I love how fast, if reluctantly, Laios accepts that if - not, that Falin is a true "monster", inhuman and hurting people relentlessly and unapologetically, and thus she needs to be killed before she kills them, like any other monster. I also love that Marcille doesn't accept this. Characters!

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+1 to qualification to kingship! Kabru is one again surprised (you can tell by how he's not smiling) (though this might also be due to the significant injuries he just took).

I do have several emotions about how Falin immediately yanks away and kills Kabru, without touching Laios. That's her brother!!

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I really like this little cluster because it says to me that Shuro still has very good "do what Marcille says when she abruptly shouts magic-related directions in combat" instincts. He's a mirror of the "You're already on the Christmas card, buddy" meme - more like, "You're still on the Christmas card." Just like Namari: no one really stops being fond of, and battle companions with, these weirdos.

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I think the most painful part of this probably is that Marcille isn't certain. Maybe this IS her fault. At minimum, she knows she might have mixed the dragon's soul into Falin's, which enabled this even if it didn't create it. But she can't 100% rule out the possibility that it's more her fault than that - which is, of course, the absolute worst thing to say to all of these people looking at her violently askance for using dark magic.

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yeahhhhhh "Lunatic Magician" REALLY lacks the oomph of "Mad Mage"

ANGRY LAIOS! It's such a rare expression on him, it's exciting to see.

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Yesss look at my man Chilchuck use available tools in his environment and save this little goober who thinks it's cool to resent adults.

I really like how they show the social consequences of dark magic. Much beyond Shuro's anger: the other mages are now shutting Marcille down, especially where resurrection magic is concerned. She's made herself untrusted by her peers, whether or not the magic she used on Falin is truly "evil."

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I really enjoy the, like, narratively obligatory, not actually real (well, maybe to Rin) "will they-won't they" between Kabru and Rin. In the story that this isn't, where Kabru is the protagonist with his quirky gang of found family who are helping him save the island and prevent another bloodbath like in his angsty backstory, she IS the One (Human) Female on the Team who is obviously his love interest - often the first to challenge him, battle mage rather than healer ie a Strong Female Character who nonetheless doesn't use unfeminine brute force, forced by happenstance to kiss...

Alas! Kabru is not the protagonist of this story, so Rin shall remain disappointed.

Also this montage of people healing and reuniting while in the background Laios and Shuro whale on each other remains SO funny. Flawless comedic timing.

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Alright, hot take time: I feel like all the debate I've seen about the Shuro/Laios fight depict it as revealing the friendship basically shattered, and never real in the first place. Whereas I'm mostly warmed by how real it clearly was despite everything that just happened?

Shuro is operating on no food and less sleep, desperate to save the woman he idolizes without truly understanding her loves, who is now apparently a monster who nearly slaughtered his most loyal followers. In the past like 2 weeks, Laios has: watched his sister die to save his life (his little sister, whom he is supposed to protect), walked headfirst into a nigh-unwinnable fight to get her back, held her skull in his hands, got her back and held her in his arms, lost her again about 6 hours later in an even more unwinnable fight, which was proven even more unwinnable when the Mage twisted the dungeon itself against them, saw her again but as a murderous monster now (which might be due to the magic he agreed to use to resurrect her), swiftly and sternly resigned himself to fighting and potentially killing her (his little sister! whom he is supposed to protect!), had her recognize him (and no one else!) despite her monstrosity, watched her be killed (again!) in part thanks to him distracting her, except it didn't work and then she fled.

This is an immature, ignoring-immediate-needs (ie, food, healing) knock-down drag-out fight between two men at the absolute ends of their ropes, who, sure, have built-up resentments against each other and the world, and an inciting incident pushing them over the edge - but mostly neither of them can punch in the face the fact that they can't save Falin. So they punch each other instead.

I won't even address the prologue to the fight, where Laios tells him about the black magic and Shuro promptly tries to strangle him then levels a sword at him. Kabru already nailed that: Shuro was worried about Falin - that the magic had hurt her, that the social consequences would be worse. Laios knew this enough that he didn't fight back, then. But now?

The first shove is Shuro demanding, Don't you fucking DARE give me false hope.

I cannot emphasize enough how hard I would also slap someone for suggesting that I wasn't taking the death and monsterization of my younger sibling seriously.

Shuro knows it, too. He doesn't respond to this, he just punches, and Laios punches back. Shuro doesn't speak again until Laios knocks him all the way down, and

Shuro is at his absolute depth. The lowest point he (feels that he) can go. He cannot save Falin. He's shamed himself as a leader and heir by getting his people killed (they got better, but that's beside the point.) He's been beaten in hand-to-hand combat by this idiot northern peasant. He lets down his guard and pride enough to mutter this self-deprecation aloud...and the idiot northern peasant hears, compounding every shame - and it's infuriating especially because he doesn't even hear properly, just like he never hears properly - he's so frustrating in his friendly but oblivious constant irritation and THIS, Shuro can still be furious about, to avoid his grief/hopelessness/self-loathing/shame. This, he can still fight about!

So he does.

They're both wrong in this fight. They're both right. Laios was consistently inconsiderate; knowing this about himself - because it's not like by his early 20s he didn't know that he didn't Get people the way most people Get people - he should've made more of an effort, and picked up any of the hints Shuro was laying down. Shuro was too caught up in his own pride and out-of-place manners: when it was clear that Laios wasn't going to pick up on even the strongest "hint", he should've said something plainly instead of just letting his resentment build until he was effectively lying to Laios about, if not their entire friendship, certainly the shape of it.

But they were friends. They are friends. This isn't the posture or conversation of two guys who don't like each other.

It's two guys who are still, in fact, fucking exhausted, physically and emotionally - but they just got rid of a lot of extra, furious, helpless energy, so they're finally satisfied to just sit. Their posture is relaxed and casual; their conversation straightforward and companionable, if serious.

This is two guys who've sat like this many time at a campfire, in just these poses. Who've kept watch together late at night and stayed awake by talking.

Laios cares about Falin more than anyone in the world, and even after the words and blows they just exchanged, he's still willing to put Shuro's suit to her. Shuro didn't tell Falin he was interested in her until he proposed to her, but he's telling it all to Laios. Admittedly, this is because Laios is, Shuro assumes, the closest he'll ever get to being able to tell it all to Falin...but still. And he admits vulnerability, which he clearly wouldn't have done before, even to his most loyal and loved companions as they urged him to eat and sleep.

Yeah, they're buddies. If I had to describe it, I'd say: their relationship was built on unsteady, false foundations, but they built something sturdy on it anyway, and the sturdy thing survives even when the foundations shake and re-settle.

Lol at Shuro. "I'm going to report you to the local authorities for your crimes because it's the right thing to do. But if you survive, I'll totally use my power and influence to help you flee the country, and live peacefully on my estate beyond where an extradition treaty can reach you."

[jensensitive]

I am obsessed with the way in which you draw Dean. You have his features nailed to perfection - somehow your Dean looks even more Dean than Dean in the show, because you exaggerate everything that makes him HIM. It's truly breathtaking <3 Any advice on how to get those features so flawless?

This is so so nice, thank you so much 😭💕💕💕

Honestly Dean is like my go-to thing to draw basically, and has been for many years, like I have to try to refrain myself from just drawing Dean again sometimes. He's like probably half of how I've learned to draw at all. So there's definitely practice there.

That said, I did not immediately have much of answer to this. It's like, his face is just his perfect, beautiful face, and then I try to draw that. 😅

So I drew some Dean to figure out what it is I do, so thanks for the excuse to draw more Dean lol

Extensive answer under the cut

If you're drawing something realistic from reference, for Dean you kind of have two options, you can either get a screencap that's closer up so you can see details better, but the top of his head is cut off, or you can get one where you can see less details but his whole torso is in frame. It can be weirdly difficult to guess at where the top of his head is sometimes, and you don't need details to capture a likeness, I think it was Sargent that said that the shape of the head is actually the most important aspect in capturing a likeness, so it's something to keep in mind. On the other hand, if you want to look at his pretty eyelashes while you draw him, you might want something closer up. (An understandable impulse).

Another thing is just to look for a reference that you really like, contrasty light and shadow are also great to look for. It's difficult to create a great drawing without them, but also it will illustrate the structure of his head best too. Look for shadow shapes you want to draw. If a reference is too dark (as it often is, because it's supernatural), edit it so you can actually see what you're drawing lmao.

I took a bunch of random screencaps of 11x02-- as random as I could, normally I'd just take screencaps of what I already kind of like, but I tried to just get all of it so you can see what I'm not choosing. (also couldn't help taking some cas ones when the lighting was going really hard)

I love a profile, I love a 3/4 view, I love when his eyes are like half open. His face was kinda giving towards the end of this episode.

Hopefully you can see them well enough. The mass ideas are more important for picking at impactful reference, but ofc I'm also trying to avoid any where he's making a dumb face or it's blurry. Sometimes that's only evident when I open it bigger, but that's okay, we have a bunch to pick from.

a. This one is one I picked out because it's an interesting angle, and I'd definitely do a little study of it, but because the lighting is so soft, it probably wouldn't be super interesting.

b. I like this one, the face he's making is hilarious, and I like the rhythm of his hand, but if I were to draw it, I might draw a fourth finger, otherwise it might look strange. So keep that in mind too, if it looks odd in the reference, it will look odd in the drawing, so unless you're confident that you can effectively change it, pick a different reference or find a second reference to help you change it.

c. This lighting's more dynamic, and I like his expression.

d. Would be hard to pick between these. This one's 3/4 and has a nice eyelash shadow, and I love the shape of his eye when it's downturned.

e. Shoutout to the shape of Jensen's brow when he looks down gotta be one of my favorite genders. + subtle Rembrandt lighting. Lovely.

f. This one is so good. Overhead lighting getting a shadow from his ear in a sideview, defining the jaw in an interesting way. Great expression. It's a bit strange, the way he's looking to the side, so it might be hard to draw convincingly, but would be worth it if I could do it. The shadow from the hair defining the shape of the brow. The light on the cheek defining the slight eyebag. The reflected light under the eye, the light landing on the nose. Would probably change the hair a bit because it looks a bit odd at this angle in this lighting, and if drawn like this it would probably look at bit block-like.

g. More rembrandt lighting. Shoutout to the shadow that this upper lip casts on his lower lip. Shoutout to the shadow his lower lip casts on his chin. Shoutout to the line of light defining his neck. Shoutout to the shape of his brow and forehead.

h. The rhythms here are chefs kiss-- the shadow line diagonal from the corner of his hairline to the corner of his brow echoed by the shadow line diagonal of his cheekbone, then that second line following through to the line of light on his neck that curves the other way.

i. This one's kinda boring wrt lighting, but it's an interesting enough angle to do a study of.

I'm going with screencap c because it's gonna work well to effectively illustrate the basic structure of how I construct his features. It's not directly straight-on, so the form isn't lost, but it's straight enough on to properly show our proportions.

For supplies here, I'm just using a soft charcoal pencil, I just use the kinda cheap ones (currently Markart) cause I actually like them better than General's. And it's on smooth newsprint. I just get it in a big thing of 500 sheets. Not archival but it's a cheap thing that's incredibly enjoyable to draw on. Pink Papermate eraser and a kneaded eraser. The pen I use at one point for some reason is a red Pentel RSVP ballpoint I think, although I actually prefer a Bic.

1. So first thing I block in that main shape, in this case, his head and shoulders. I also have to draw in the hairline at the same time, cause I can't figure it out otherwise. He's got kind of pointy ears. The collar of his jacket often comes up pretty high on the back of his neck. He's got a distinctive hairline that I think can go a long way to showing it's Dean, it's worth taking note of. It swoops to our left, and then the corner (I guess?) of his hairline will line up with the corner/arch of his brow. And don't draw the hairline as an unbroken line, but several lines with some room to breathe. His shoulders are pretty straight and broad, but about three heads across which is pretty normal.

2. Next what I think about is the shape of the eyesockets and the line of the brow. This bit will go a ways for conveying Dean's expression, because he has a wide range from light and happy to horribly scowly that's in the brows. You don't have to define the exact line of the brow at this moment, blocking in the general line is fine just to have an idea of where it lands. You can go back later and refine it. I also find where the bottom lid lands. In my brain it makes a shape like what I've drawn. I might not draw it just like this, but even if I don't, this is the shape I'm thinking about. The line from the end of his eyebrow to his bottom lid is a fave, sometimes you can see it on him, especially at an angle, and it's real pretty.

3. Next I find where the bottom of his nose lands, it's about double the length of the eyesocket. And the line under his bottom lip, about halfway between his nose and the bottom of his chin. These measurements are pretty average measurements for a face. I didn't give myself enough room for his chin initially, so I moved it down to fix it. Also adjusted his face very slightly wider on the right side, cause it's looking a bit narrow.

4. I added some of our shadow shapes. This is where finding a reference with well-defined shadows will be very helpful. And I sketched in the clothes cause why not. The clothes don't have to be perfect, who cares, Dean's collar is not our point of interest lol. The shadow on the neck will probably be slightly curved because of the roundness of the neck. If it's not, you might want to make it curve slightly anyway just to help define the form. I blocked in where the eyes are.

eyes: For Jensen's lovely eyes, they have a specific shape that is so nice to draw, especially at certain and angles and with certain expressions. But basically the top lid is more angular and can be almost boxed off at the end, and the line from the corner of the eye to the lashes is an s-curve that's higher in the middle. Again, not unusual features in drawing a face, but such pretty examples. The shadow that his lower lid casts (or his makeup idk?) is often dark enough to look vaguely like eyeliner. Jensen's lower eyelids, an underrated part of Jensen. His eyebrows are thicker in the middle and sparser on the ends.

5. Next I found the corners of the lips. This is an important aspect in the way I draw mouths. Sometimes I just draw them with dots where the corners of the lips are, a curve where the lips part in the middle, a shadow under the bottom lip, and the curve of the cupid's bow. (This is seen below in 6) I think I also adjusted the bottom lip shadow here. Straight-on, the middle of his lips is slightly higher than the corners, but of course, this will change when not straight-on, depending on if we're looking up or down at his mouth. I also sketched in the nose shape. The ridge of his nose has a nice subtle bump, and then the ball of his nose is very slightly squared off I think, from a front-facing perspective, I feel like. And I drew in his slightly drawn brows. Just pay attention to the angles in your reference, because the expression, the perspective and the angle of the head can impact it. But of course generally, drawn down in the middle, furrowed = scowly; drawn up, unfurrowed = happy.

nose: I prefer drawing his nose in profile. And who wouldn't, look at it! The slight curve of the bridge and then the ball of the nose. I will exaggerate this a little sometimes, just because it's fun and I like it. I couldn't find a reference, but from below, you can see the shape of the bottom of his nose, it dips in the middle a bit more than average. Drawing the bottom of the nose is often a delicate balance between shadow and reflected light. I love keeping it light, save for the nostrils, but then the shadow under the nose can be important too. Sometimes it's just a stylistic choice. Note that there's a plane change between the side of the nose and the cheek. (I think I drew his nose too upturned here, but the general idea is still there)

6/mouth: In drawing the mouth, the top line of the upper lip looks more rectangular at the ends, increasingly so as it turns away from us, and much less so as it turns towards us. Of course, he has a full upper lip that you can shade as you like. I try to keep it distinct from the shadow of the line of the mouth, and a reflected light on the top lip can be good here too. For the bottom lip, it's always nice to give is some shine with a hard-edge highlight. For the cupid's bow, I try to leave a light between the upper lip and the shadow in the cupid's bow. For some reason I drew the shadow backwards here, but I think it looks fine.

7/ears: I started to shade it, and then I remembered that he has ears. There's a simplified way I draw ears that I like. It's not entirely accurate, because the two shadows at the top are actually usually connected, but I find it a bit distracting that way sometimes, so this is more subtle I guess. In profile, I don't really have a method of drawing it, I just draw whatever the reference gives me or bs it with a similar version of this, depending.

8/hair: My method for drawing his hair is 1) suffer 2) hope and pray. I like to leave a rim light-type deal between the contour/outliine of the hair and the rest of the hair, I feel like it helps define it a bit more. The direction of his hair, and thus the direction of my lines is something like this.

9. And then I more or less just shaded. When shading, it's always good to follow the direction of the plane, and I also alternatively like to shade in the direction that the light is falling to reinforce that gesture, but when I shade a face, I try to shade in the opposite direction of where wrinkles would go, if that makes sense, mostly up and down I guess. This is of course on a case by case basis, like a lot of times, I'll do the forehead horizontally anyway, but it's especially touchy around where the laugh lines of the mouth would be and the neck. And on soft plane changes (and softish hard plane changes), I often shade at a different angle to the main shadow. Shading direction can also delineate different areas of similar tones, like I did with the jacket and the side of the nose. I like to give Dean his eyelash shadow, because he deserves it. I also drew in the eyes, of course. I think I actually tend to shade them backwards, and the light would fall in the opposite direction, so when lit from the right, the right side would be darker, but I just don't draw it that way idk maybe I should.

And there he is, that's our guy!

Normally when I'm drawing, I'm definitely a bit more all over the place, and don't necessarily do things in perfect order. And it's good to move around. I'm probably not going to be shading things before noting where all the features are going to land, but I often am shading something before I've drawn everything. Or end up drawing one eye and then maybe do part of the other and then move to do part of the nose and then sketch in an ear and then maybe notice something's off somewhere and adjust that, etc. Just go with it, have fun, he's got a fun face to draw! 💗

[hualianisms]

🍉Fics for Gaza

Inspired by the fan Gotchas for Gaza and @ficsforgaza, i (ao3 user namelessflower) will be joining @ficsforgaza's initiative where fic writers write fics in exchange for proofs of donation to valid Palestinian fundraisers.

I will be offering: Fics, poems about a character/pairing, or simple pfp icons/avatars of a character/pairing.

Fandoms available: any MXTX, JWQS, ORV, JJK, Genshin, RGU and more (see full list here).

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I will also accept donations to Sudan (Khartoum Aid Kitchen), separate from @ficsforgaza's initiative.

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I will do: sfw, nsfw*, canonverse, modern AU, canon divergent, other AUs, genderbend, character study, angst, fluff, humour/comedy, emotional hurt/comfort, hurt/comfort, heavy angst

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for SFW: every $1 = at least 150 words, capped at ~3000 words (for me to avoid burnout)

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you may donate enough more for multiple prompts, but please specify how much is for which prompt (e.g. you can donate $15 for a 1000 word nsfw fic ($10) + a 750 word sfw fic ($5)

samples of my fics on my ao3

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$1 = 1 pfp

any character from any fandom accepted so long as you are able to provide the picture/screencap you want made into an icon. pfps will be just the character + a pride flag background, plain color background, or gradient color background (specify what color/pride flag you want)

samples here

more info in my carrd here! please read everything carefully before requesting, thank you so much!

[r0semint]

hey! let’s talk about teru’s relationship with food!

all three of us get the feeling that food is a love language for teru, or at least, we feel like it’s important to consider how food plays a role in his story arc when doing a character study of him.

okay so first off, right from his introduction he is a foil to mob.

[ID: four manga panels featuring teru getting ready for school. from right to left: the first panel shows his hand and a pan frying an egg. the second is his hand holding a remote. the third shows a tv of a meteorologist saying: “today’s weather.” The forth panel is teru pulling on his school blazer, watching the tv. the meteorologist continues: “a lot of sunshine through the country, though the air is a bit unstable. /END ID]

when teru first appears, we as an audience don’t know it yet, but he lives alone and has been living alone without his parents for several years. here he is cooking his own breakfast and getting himself ready in his apartment by himself.

[ID: five manga panels of mob being woken up for school. from right to left: the first panels is a shot of the roof of the kageyama house. the second is mob, asleep on his futon. his mom is talking from off screen. she says: “shige, get up! you’re gonna be late!” the third is mob yawning and stretching his arms about his head. the forth panel is ritsu opening the door to mob’s room. he says “bro. mom said breakfast is ready.” the fifth panel shows ritsu looking at mob. mob is putting on a pair of pants saying: “yeah ritsu. let’s go.” /END ID]

meanwhile mob, is woken up by his mom and is checked on by his brother to make sure he was up in order to get a breakfast that was more than likely made by their parents.

when mob plans on confessing to tsubomi, teru brings up how homemade things tend to make him feel happy when someone confesses to him.

[ID: manga panel of teru being offered a gift from a girl. it reads: “I tend to be on the receiving end of confessions, but…when someone gives me a handkerchief, or a letter, or homemade cookies or something, it makes me kinda happy, so…I was just thinking, there’s that kind of thing too.” /END ID]

also we see teru tend to overindulge when someone (reigen) is offering to buy food for him

[ID: panel from yakiniku omake. teru is ordering food. he says: I’ll have have 4 orders of top ribs, 2 orders of sakura yukhoe, 2 orders of choice salty beef tongue, the extra special zabuton-cut beef, the offal sampler, 3 orders of rice, a tomato salad, and the naengmyeon…and a green tea.” /END ID]

[ID: cropped screencap of official art. teru has finished two ice cream parfaits. the empty glasses sit in front of a third one, which he is using telekinesis to float the toppings near his face. /END ID]

this often played for laughs, but stick with us here…

in the fanbook teru is asked if he cooks for himself and he says yes, and mentions that he’s confident in his pasta making skills.

[ID: cropped screencap from the fanbook that reads: “Q1: do you make your own food? What are you good at cooking?” Teru answers: “I cook lots of different kinds of things! but what I’m confident in is my pasta.” /END ID]

at first this may seem like a very 14 year old answer…I mean, pasta is fairly easy to make. But knowing teru and how he tends to become and expert at the skills he learns, odds are pasta started off as something simple to throw together on a school night. Pasta is easy and convenient and kid friendly, but it is very easy to experiment with and eventually become a speciality.

and one thing we know about teru is that he has too many specialities to list.

this kid has been needing to make his own food 100% on his own since the start of middle school. we can infer he’s getting money from his parents, and we aren’t exactly sure how much or how he spends it regarding food, but the only time we seem him eating alone, he is making a meal for himself outside of something premade or takeout. he said it himself, he makes lots of different kinds of things! he knows how to cook!

but with all things teru something simple and silly comes with tragedy. while it’s nice fore a kid his age to know how to cook, he NEEDS to know because he doesn’t live with his parents. if he didn’t know how to cook he would be relying on others, and that’s just not what teru does. He is fully capable and learns for himself out of necessity. teru is responsible for all of his own meals.

so what happens when he is no longer responsible? it could be an issue with humbleness. it could also be just normal 14 year old boy hunger, but when reigen takes him out to eat there’s no limits. but here’s the thing…when’s the last time teru has had a home-cooked meal that was made for him by someone else? not from a restaurant, but someone making something for him?

this is why we have the omurice scene in backdraft. there’s a comfort in the domesticity of having food prepared for him in a familial setting that he has not realized he has been missing from his life.

we’ve focused on the fear of him getting cut off from his parents and how money scarcity turns into food scarcity. he’s always been in survival mood, it’s just that money was the breaking point for him.

going back to mob. he and his family are normally seen sitting at the dinner table together. a normal domestic setting.

[ID: screencap of the kageyama family eating omurice together]

something teru doesn’t have. he eats alone at a table in his apartment…one with multiple chairs around it.

[ID: screencap of teru in his apartment. In the background, he is getting ready, looking in a full length mirror. next to him is a tv showing the weather. in the foreground is a table with an empty plate, mug and saucer, and a basket with a single roll. two chairs are seen at the table. /END ID]

teru has not invited anyone into his apartment until mob got attacked by koyama.

who are those chairs for teru?

of course, in backdraft we have the restaurant scene that mirrors this. empty chairs for absent parents.

BUT ITS NOT ALL SAD

back to food being a love language and specialty to teru…imagine once he’s no longer in survival mode due to trauma. food as a comfort, not only receiving, but making it for others as well. tying into him wanting to be a teacher, sharing his skills with others…the fact it feels good creating and sharing something. no longer taking care of himself out of necessity, but learning what his skills and hobbies are and genuinely sharing them because they make him feel accomplished and happy! it just ties everything together with this dude.

in short, cooking is more than likely another speciality teru has developed due to needing to live on his own. since mp100 has themes that involve human connection and relationships with others, we feel food is something that brings people together and our boy teru here should experience that firsthand.

that is why it plays a big role in what we have so far in backdraft!

[jayalaw]

Thoughts About Light Yagami Being A YouTuber

Thanks to @cacklingskeleton for starting this idea, and @kingofthewilderwest for talking with me about this.

For reference: I am referring to Light from the first five volumes of the manga mainly, rather than the various spinoffs. We will not speak of the horrendous Netflix version. This would be taking place after the Lind L. Taylor incident, which confirms that Kira is in the Kanto region for the whole world.

What's fascinating about Death Note in modern times is that it came out before social media. Light has to get all his news about criminals from newspapers and television, to the point that he had to hide a mini-television in a potato chip bag to avoid surveillance.

Social media has changed things; you can find information about criminals and trials in real-time. The Internet is forever, and we all have smart devices now. Kira could kill a criminal as soon as their mugshot hits Twitter. Not to mention that with the right credit card, you don't need shinigami eyes; you can find all the info that you need on a person.

King and I were disagreeing about one point: would Light do well at YouTube? I think so because Light knows how to control his image, and L was the only person who could see through it. King doesn't agree, because Light's mask falls away rather quickly in the manga. He may know how to plot murder, but his ability to act normal fades away rather quickly.

So let's consider these two angles. There are two ways this could go:

If Light Yagami Is Good At YouTube

Light is calculating and intelligent, good at building his image. I remember this from the manga, how he is popular both in high school and college,

My headcanon is that Light would do videos talking about justice systems in fiction. You have stories about if the apocalypse in Mad Max has appropriate punishments for the antagonist, and if the chickens in Chicken Run have any legal rights. He knows that you can go viral for the wrong reasons, and chooses his topics carefully. What's more, his dad may not understand YouTube, but it would be shameful if Soichiro Yagami's son was caught doing something uncouth.

If Light has some disagreements with YouTubers? He knows how to do what James Somerton did: hide behind an aura of feigned innocence and send his fanbase against them. And how can he be a bad guy? He doesn't even have a Patreon or crowdfunding! All his YouTube revenue goes towards charity, because he has a full-ride to university and his needs are few since he still lives at home to help out with his little sister. She posts videos of them dancing to Misa-Misa's songs. All the other YouTubers are more worried about their careers and are just jealous little shits.

Here is the thing: people leave patterns. And there are whisper networks. Light may think he's leaving no trail, but computers have screencaps, and memory.

If Light Yagami Is Bad At YouTube

He gets by with his channel topics due to his natural good looks. I admit that Light isn't my type because he seems too dark and broody, plus the whole what he did to Naomi Misora, but he might have been appealing.

In this case, the channel topic could be anything: Let's Play video games, reactions to vines and viral videos, "The Best Snacks To Eat While Studying for Entrance Exams." No one doubts that Light can cook, even if he eats those nasty potato chips.

So let's go with King's interpretation. Light is someone who is big talk about general topics, but if you look up close, it's really shallow. People follow him because he's good-looking and has a lovely voice. It's a voice that makes you want to go into battle. Some of his more impressionable fans wonder why he wasn't scouted by a J-pop band. It wouldn't have worked; Soichiro Yagami would stake any manager or agent that would dare keep his son from the college path.

The problem is when Light gets the Death Note. He still posts videos, but he starts getting sloppy. Though he doesn't want to admit it, murder is a huge weight on the human soul. And he takes it out on the communities that welcomed him, in subtle ways.

The Video

Hbomberguy has noticed some trends. Any YouTuber that crosses Light Yagami, even for pointing out something like, "Dude, you took footage from me," somehow gets hit. Light is careful to go only after small people, the marginalized that may leave YouTube from the harassment.

He is careful. After all, if you are going to accuse someone of plagiarizing videos and using his fanbase to destroy the competition, including YouTubers that considered Light a good friend, you need hard evidence, and backups. So hbomberguy brings the receipts, with permission from the victim.

The Kira stuff is the real bombshell; Hbomberguy cites what happened with Lind L. Taylor, and how Light is one of the biggest international YouTubers from the Kanto region, who is bilingual to boot. And something something how he figured out the shinigami thing because there have been incidents of people online talking about writing names in notebooks, getting creeped out when others died, and tossing the books away. They talked about having seen mysterious figures. Yes, it could be Internet hearsay, but the heart attacks match the pattern.

The video goes viral. Light can only watch in horror, because hbomberguy points out that if he dies of a heart attack now, Light will be the prime suspect. Ryuk is cackling.

And somewhere, L is leaning back in his weird crouched position and puffing out a deep breath of frustration. Several months of subtle investigation down the drain, thanks to YouTube drama.

[multi-lefaiye]

HANNAH & ABDIEL BACKSTORY DUMP POST

i've wanted to write this for a while tbh- anyway! backstory on eden's parents, hannah and abdiel linnaeus.

tagging the eden linnaeus fanclub and other people i think would be interested: @skitzo-kero @anexor @chaieyestea @invaderskoodge @vacantgodling

@void-botanist @drawnecromancy @moonflowerrss @paradoxspir1t @albatris

@corvus-rose @astral-runic

--

content warnings: discussions of child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, parental death, terminal illness, misogyny, and ableism. (probably not as much on that last one, but i think the vibes are there.)

also i'll be using she/her in reference to eden in this post because this is wayyy before he had any gender realizations. just remember eden is A Man.

-

i don't have recent art of hannah, so i'll just use screencaps of when i made her and abdiel in bg3 as a reference. hannah on the left, abdiel on the right.

FOR BACKGROUND: abdiel is the only son of a drow scholar named noa of house linnaeus, following an intimate encounter with an incubus in her early 20s. noa never wanted a child, much less a son, but she was far too prideful and stubborn to give him up or abort the unborn fetus. so, she had a son, and she loathed him. from a very young age, noa made it clear to abdiel that she never wanted him, and that it was his responsibility to fix the mistake he'd made by being born.

she pumped that kid FULL of self worth issues right away.

hannah, by contrast, was raised by two loving tiefling parents--her father jeriah, and her mother ansel. their life together wasn't perfect, sure, but it was happy. both of her parents were spellcasters, and they were both renowned on some level for their craft. and so, from a rather young age, there was an unspoken expectation that hannah would follow suit.

HOW THEY MET: hannah and abdiel met at fantasy-wizard-college, when hannah was 20 and abdiel was 35. hannah was in the middle of her undergrad studies as a cleric, and abdiel was in the middle of his doctoral program as a wizard. abdiel didn't actually start college until his late 20s because noa would not allow him to, pressuring him to stay and take care of her as she got older. he hated his mother, but he was also terrified of losing her, as he felt no one else would have him. eventually, though, he left her behind, desperate to escape his abuser and start his life elsewhere. and that included attending college to study magic.

college was... rough for abdiel. he was significantly older than his peers and felt both uncomfortable and deeply alienated around them, especially many of the women on campus who reminded him of his mother. that combined with his total lack of self worth made it hard for him to talk to people, hard to make any *friends.* so, he was alone, and he was fine... until, one day, he hit a breaking point and broke down in a hidden corner of the main meal hall, bawling into his hands.

then, hannah found him. she was genuinely worried and approached him, asking if she could sit next to him. he tensed and asked her what she'd do if he said no, and she said that if he said no she'd leave. but, well, he seemed like he might need a friend, so she wanted to ask. he was quiet for a while after that, still shaking.

eventually, he timidly told her she could sit with him, so she did so, and she kept him company until he fully calmed down. afterwards, she started talking to him, and slowly he began opening up to her, feeling more reassured by the minute by how sweet and genuine she was, without pressuring him to do the same.

soon, he started really engaging with her, too, and by the end he was actually smiling. and hannah took that as a victory above all else--being able to see this sad, anxious man smile. (she told him that he has a nice smile, and he laughed, visibly flustered by the compliment.)

after that day, hannah started seeking him out and talking to him more, and he always seemed to visibly relax around her. basically, hannah appointed herself as abdiel's best friend, and he accepted wholeheartedly. she quickly became one of the only people he felt truly safe around, and he latched onto her as a result. she encouraged him to open up more and talk to other people, too, and as he did, he finally began to truly *flourish.*

with hannah's support, abdiel began slowly making more friends and developing more of a reputation with his classmates as an outgoing, intelligent, charismatic guy. finally, he felt like he belonged at university, like people wanted him around. hannah was his favorite, ofc, but he relished the attention.

and he returned the favor tenfold, supporting hannah in every way he could and bragging about her to anyone who would listen. he was a wife guy well before they even started dating. though she was already very confident, sweet, and intelligent, one thing she really struggled with was taking care of *herself* rather than other people, hence why she approached a terrified abdiel to comfort him in the first place.

abdiel encouraged hannah to consider herself more, praising her for her altruism while also telling her to value herself. he was terrified that the world would take advantage of her brilliant, beautiful, benevolent soul, and he wanted to protect her and protect that selflessness. besides his classwork and research, abdiel spent much of his free time with her, soaking up her attention and, in his mind, protecting her from people who wouldn't appreciate her.

abdiel eventually realized he was attracted to hannah in a way he'd never been with anyone before. and he *panicked*. he believed that he should be grateful for what he had with hannah, should be lucky to count her as his friend, and he shouldn't dare wish for anything else. so he kept his mouth shut for nearly a year after he realized it.

then, when hannah was 22 and abdiel was 37, hannah's father jeriah died. and she just... *broke* down.

abdiel held her throughout the night she got the news, his heart breaking with every heaving sob she let out into his chest. sure, he'd seen plenty of people cry, but none hurt as much as hannah did. he'd never seen her so devastated, and he vowed to himself that he'd do everything in his power to make sure she never cried like that again.

(later, hannah explained to abdiel that her dad had been sick for a long time--her family has a history of illness going back generations, and he'd been dealing with it for some time. however, she'd hoped against hope that the latest treatments he'd been receiving would work... this is what directly inspired abdiel to go into medicine, changing course to work towards, maybe, a cure for the illness in hannah's family. all of abdiel's contributions to medical science trace back to her.)

a few weeks after her dad's death, hannah actually made the first move and kissed abdiel. immediately, she panicked and pulled away, babbling apologies and telling him that it's okay if he doesn't like her that way, and she doesn't want to make things *weird*, but she really really likes him and he's her best friend in the world, and- (abdiel gently cut her off by cupping her cheek and leaning in to press their lips together again, once he remembered how to move again after his brain short-circuited a little.)

they started dating a day later, after sitting down and talking through their feelings. abdiel already knew he loved hannah, and he was so relieved to finally be able to express it. as far as he was concerned, she was the center of his universe, and he damn near worshipped that woman. hannah, meanwhile, was a bit more hesitant to call it love at first, but she definitely adored him.

(fun little side-note, but hannah's mother ansel definitely did not approve of abdiel at all. she thought hannah could do better, and she was wary of hannah dating an older man. at least, until one day when abdiel sat down with her and earnestly told her how much he loves her daughter. he'd never do anything to hurt hannah, *ever*, and he needed her to know that. ansel didn't have to believe him, but he wanted her to know he meant it, and ge'd prove it. finally, she relented.)

they dated for a couple years, and shortly after they both graduated they moved to a small fishing village named encerough, near where hannah grew up. by this point, abdiel was making a lot of headway in his research into healing magic as a wizard, and he was developing quite a reputation in his field... however, as much as he was enjoying his developing renown, he didn't have much interest in living in a bustling city with his colleagues.

he liked the idea of a quiet life with hannah in the country. especially once hannah got pregnant, at which point they decided to get married. (abdiel definitely prepared a whole elaborate proposal and pulled out , but hannah beat him to it and proposed after she told him she was pregnant. he immediately pulled her into his arms and kissed her so fast she nearly fell over <3 these two were so immensely Smitten™️)

then, when hannah was 24 and abdiel was 39, she had their first child: a tiny purple tiefling named eden. abdiel held her hand the whole time as she was giving birth, encouraging her and refusing to leave her side. and, afterwards, while she was recovering, he sat with her and smiled, just... watching her with so much love and adoration. he had a family, all his own, and he loved them more than anything.

but, of course... that's where the troubles started. abdiel loved hannah, and he loved eden by extension, but he struggled to connect with his baby the same way he connected with his wife. he looked at eden and felt nothing, and he had no desire to interact with or care for the baby. more than that, having a *daughter* was terrifying to abdiel. he knew logically that a baby couldn't hurt him, but hannah *was* still the only woman he ever felt safe around.

hannah was understanding and reassured him that his daughter knew he loved her, and he was relieved. as long as hannah didn't think less of him, that was all that mattered to him. and so, abdiel made little to no effort to care for or show eden any attention, noticably shrinking away from her and passing her off to her mother.

making things worse, around this time, hannah started developing symptoms of an illness very similar to her father's. nothing too bad at first, but she began to have less energy, her joints began to ache, and she began to struggle to get out of bed. abdiel noticed right away and was *terrified*, throwing himself further into his research to find a cure for hannah before her illness could progress. not that he really discussed this with her--he didn't want to worry her or make her think she was going to die. because she wasn't. he wouldn't let that happen.

of course, the time came where they had to talk about it regardless, and hannah was... resigned. she'd always figured this might happen, but not this soon. but she told abdiel that it's okay. she's not dead yet, and she has plenty of time left with him and their baby girl. she appreciated him trying to help, but she was just happy to spend her life, however much she had left, with the most amazing man in the world, and the beautiful child he'd given her. (abdiel silently promised that he'd make sure she had a happy life. and she wasn't going to die. *she wasnt.*)

fast forward a bit, and hannah and abdiel had their second child: a son named michael. abdiel once again struggled to connect with their baby, but this time he tried. he earnestly tried to be there for both of their kids, even if he mainly cared about them as extensions of his love for hannah. (it was easier with michael, though--perhaps having a son was easier to process.)

still, hannah was proud of him for trying either way, and she told him as such. in between his research into her disease and finding a cure, he spent as much time with his family as he could, especially hannah (though he at least would acknowledge his kids). but... hannah was still getting worse, and abdiel was *terrified.*

they began having more and more talks about what might happen, which grew more and more tense, more and more serious, as they both realized hannah wasn't getting better, and abdiel wasn't any closer to a cure. he wasn't going to stop trying, though. *goddammit*, he wasn't going to stop.

then, around eden's sixth birthday, hannah collapsed and had a violent coughing fit, struggling to breathe as she seized on the floor and eden watched helplessly, terrified for her mother. (abdiel paid the child no mind--he just ran to hannah's side to help her.)

she was ultimately okay, having just strained herself a bit too much while cooking, but abdiel fucking *panicked.* he realized that he wouldn't be able to find a cure to save her in time if he stayed in encerough--he'd have to travel to one of the cities, where he'd have many more resources at his disposal.

it took a week or so for him to get preparations in order, during which time he didn't tell hannah anything, up until the night before he left. when he did, it was presented in a way that boded no arguments: abdiel would be leaving to find a cure, and she would stay *here* and take care of herself (and the kids). he'd be back soon, and she would be okay. abdiel was taking control of a situation where he felt helpless, making decisions for both of them without thinking about what she wanted.

hannah didn't react well. she was upset that he hadn't told her his plans, and she ended up just. telling him point blank that he wasn't going to be able to *cure her.* this was it! she always knew she would die young, and she'd rather her husband *stay* with her and enjoy the time she has left rather than leaving her alone with the vague promise of returning someday to fix her when she *didn't want to be fixed.*

abdiel didn't react well either, and this just... spiraled into a huge argument, which ended with them both in tears (but moreso hannah--abdiel always did have a tendency to shut down emotionally when they disagreed with each other, refusing to listen to what she was saying).

(baby eden also witnessed this argument, not that she ever told either of them about it.)

the next morning, they talked again, calmer this time. and hannah asked abdiel to stay. please. and he told her that he couldn't. if there was even a *tiny* hope that he could save her, he had to take it. because he loved her.

she was clearly devastated to hear that, but she nodded and said okay. but she told him to come back soon, and he told her he would--*after* he'd found a way to save her. and later that day, he was gone.

he never did come home, of course. he sent hannah letters when he could, but not all of them were delivered in a timely manner. without hannah there to balance him out, he lost himself in an obsessive spiral of trying to find a cure, trying to *fix* her, and he easily lost track of the time.

hannah telling him that he hadn't cured her and wasn't going to be able to... well, it hit a nerve, and he was determined to prove her wrong as much as he was determined to save her. he was angry with hannah, not that he'd ever call it that. (and, as a sidenote, it's during this time that abdiel developed most of his fame and renown as a wizard--even though he was no closer to curing hannah's disease, he was behind a lot of major advancements in medical technology in this era.)

when asked, abdiel would tell people he was married, but he rarely went into detail. and he certainly never mentioned his children. no one needed to know about his personal life, not until he'd fixed the problem and saved the love of his life.

and then, nearly six years later, abdiel received word that hannah was dead. and he was *devastated*. he locked himself in his study and completely broke down, drinking himself into a stupor and smashing a bunch of his equipment, and then the numbness fully settled in. he'd failed. and she was gone.

he didn't go to her funeral. he didn't want to face their neighbors, their *children*, knowing he'd failed his hannah and she was gone. and, fuck, their children surely hated him by now, didn't they? after all, he hadn't saved their mother. he'd hate him, too.

so, he stayed away, and he stopped sending letters. he withdrew from his family entirely, and once he was able, he threw himself back into his research, the only thing he had left. if he wasn't going to be able to have the life and family he'd wanted, then he'd at least have his work.

he did try to move on from hannah, but it never really went past the occasional one-night stand. as far as he's concerned, hannah's the only person he ever really cared for, and that's not going to change. there's no one else like her, and there never will be again. and like i *joke* bout him comparing his one-night stands to hannah, but he definitely did that. because no one compares to her.

(and on hannah's end--she never stopped loving or missing abdiel, and she had no interest in moving on from him. she held out hope he would come back, because he told her he would. he'd never broken a promise to her before that, and though she still believed his quest to cure her was fruitless... she knew, if anyone could find a way, it'd be him.)

[harpidiem]

Hiii I'm enraptured by those Mad Max scene studies you did, and I was wondering if you had any tips/advice to get started doing those? I want to improve my digital art but I'm not really sure how to start

gosh thank you so much!!

well, first i think the most important part about doing these studies is to not get too stressed about the timer (for those, each one was about 20-30 minutes. if you need, add ten more minutes! theres no rules. youre just trying to learn, its chill :]

i set a timer so that im forced to only think about what is important. i cant make tiny details in just 30 minutes, and its no sweat if the study turns out mushy; i didnt even spend an hour, so its not like i spent 4 hours on something i dont like. i personally think studying sounds boring as hell, so it takes a lot of pressure off of 'studying' if im locked in for just 30 minutes and learning what i can, and if im lucky, it might look kinda neat

id say use a brush with some color jitter to capture some of the complexities of color while you paint, and dont worry about color picking. i just dont suggest color picking often because it desaturates what youre working with a lot. however, if youre a beginner, it can help you recognize how much variation there is between colors (and just how much grey is important. wowza!) again, no rules! do what you need to learn and have fun. i personally dont learn at all if im not having fun. pick a subject youre interested in, and see what you can do in 30 minutes! i personally choose movie screencaps because they teach movement, color, value AND framing all in one go.

heres the process of a 30 minute study i made this morning of a scene from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

theres a whole lotta goofy stuff i missed as you can see with it side by side with the reference; thats totally ok because the next time i draw this, ill keep the proportions in mind, and not get hung up on details like the camera and remember highlights like on his forehead or the shape of the bag around his neck. mistakes help us learn! copying is NOT the goal of these; its just to see if i can make it feel like the reference. just remember, youre gonna have a lot of ugly attempts (ill make like, ten of these and maybe 2-3 turn out decipherable). dont get too attached, if it turns out mushy, take a quick laugh and try again. could have spent 30 minutes scrolling and instead you made a lovely color salad! keep going!

if you have any more questions, feel free to ask!

[runawaymun]

Finished that Miyazaki study from My Neighbor Totoro! I think my lighting is slightly more dramatic than the original screencap but that's just how I roll tbh

I really enjoyed picking this apart and deconstructing it to try and figure out how the art was made, and then replicating it with my own brushes. It was such a good exercise and I learned a lot! I think I need to figure out how to set color jitter on clip studio, though. So much time was spent just trying to mimic the color variation in the foliage!

Here's the stream if you want to see me lay the sketch and flats and then get into rendering. A lot of it is just me going "oh god oh god I don't know how to do this" haha.

Anyway eat your art vegetables! Practice stuff you're not good at! You'll learn a lot.

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Ok, it's time to deep talk even more about Magnifico! Part 1.

Since my analyses have gotten so much love, support and agreement, I feel motivated to continue 💙

In my first analysis I've touched up on many things, but something I want to deepen a little more is his trauma and his responses to it. Next to his character all in one of course.

After watching and rewatching and studying while making screencaps, I found myslef being heart broken for Magnifico even more. He's so horribly misunderstood it blows my mind. People are so freaking mean and ignorant it's insane!

We know that Magnifico was deeply traumatized as a young boy. Most people focus on themselves, their pain and their healing, but Magnifico instead wanted to make sure others will never suffer like he did. Please, let that sink in for a moment. His first response isn't to look at himself but to look at others. He lost everything and what does he want to do? Give! His first impulse was - I need to learn magic, so I can be strong enough to build a place where I can make sure people will never have to endure what I had to. Not "I gotta build myself a safe place so I can never be hurt again" like a little hermit crab hiding in a new house. No, he always looked what he could do for others!

This is one of the most selfless things a human being can do! It's not happening often but it's happening. People with trauma using their trauma as a motivation to help others.

Magnifico's determination to build a save haven for others despite his situation is freaking honarable!

He loves deeply! I did explain that the trauma Magnifico suffered heavily influenced and altered his thinking, his feeling, his actions and decission making.

He loves deeply but his paranoia and fear cloud it. What I mean is, some of his decissons aren't right but this doesn't make him evil! He's like a helicopter parent! His motivation to fiercly protect and keep save is purely love driven and initially right but because of his immense fear and paranoia it's becoming overprotectiveness and that is not the right way.

He never meant harm, he never meant to hurt. He was being too selfless in way. I heard another Magnifico defender say, he did too well.

And it's true.

Magnifico has given so much in his life. Matter of fact, he was absolutely right when he said he gives and gives and gives and yet people still aren't satisfied. And I totally get it! It's real life. People are greedy beings. Give them your little finger and they soon want your whole hand.

The people of Rosas live in total peace. They get everything they could ask for and more. Enough food, good homes they don't even need to pay rent for, enough money ... they get wishes granted every month. Sometimes even more! Magnifico mentioned in the past year he's granted 14 wishes, which means he did grant more than just one every month from time to time.

Magnifico is so much more than his handsome looks and his abilities. Yet, all people saw him as was that. A very handsome genie. Not the benevolent ruler that even made this flourishing life possible in the first place!

And I mean yeah, he said "I'd love to see you try and do my job!" And he's right again. I've never ruled a whole kingdom before and successfully at that! But I can imagine it must be darn hard! Certainly not a piece of cake.

People loved and celebrated him for what he could give and do! But what if he'd been just a regular king without any magic powers to grant wishes?

We see how the people of Rosas reacted after he told them about a threat. In the end they ask for another wish ceremony. And Magnifico snaps at them. He's clearly in distress even though he tries to appear collected and sovereign, and the only thing they care about is getting more wishes granted? Dude, give this poor man a break!

I can totally understand Magnifico having a nervous, emotional breakdown. Add it all up. He's constantly on edge because of his trauma, he always means well but the pressure of his ambitions and his duties as king are weighing him down further, he's constantly triggered, constantly irritable, no one gives a toot (Amaya included) which is like fuel to the fire in his soul, he feels threatened, he's terrified, he feels not understoond, valued and respected and furthermore used and exploited.

See how he make's the wishes spin around him faster and faster here? It's literally symbolic of what's going on in his soul at that moment.

Same as this one does.

The mirror is cracking, meaning his soul is cracking further. He's starting to break.

It's no wonder he loses his cool, really. Everyone would eventually break in such a situation.

Now, back to the whole wishes situation

Stop a moment and look how Magnifico looks at this wish/dream. He adores it, he appreciates it. (It's a happy family btw.) and someone who's as good in reading emotions as I am will see the ever so slight pain swimming along.

As king, it's Magnifico's duty anyway to make sure his kingdom runs well. That his people are safe and content, that there is order. And the whole decission making rests upon his shoulders as well.

Should he be in the leading position he is in? No. No, a person as deeply traumatized as he is, shouldn't. But the fact that he still tries is admirable! He's not in power because he's a power hungry, cruel, cold-hearted, selfish, narcissistic psychopath, like a villian is! He is in power and wants to stay in it, because he wants to protect others! He cares so much more about others, that he stresses himself to the peak of breaking mentally!

His trauma keeps him in this spiral. Trauma driven motivation > stress/trigger > trauma response > desire> action > trauma result/success or failure

Yes, he doesn't grant every wish because his trauma blurrs his judgement. He's so deeply into it that he cannot judge properly. Does this make him evil? Nope. It would be laughable how rediculous the hater's arguements are if it weren't so sad.

The arguement "Magnifico sees the dreams of people as a threat to his power so he steals them and makes people forget them."

🤨 huh?

I could slam my forehead even harder against something other than my hand. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The ignorance hurts!!! Like, have this people even paid any attention? Clearly not.

He never stole anything! Neither did he manipulate, play or lie to people. He left the decission to them. It was an open fact "If you want, you can give me your wish and I will keep it save and eventually grant it." And even if one doesn't give their wish, they are more than welcome to stay in his kingdoom and live a happy life!

Now listen. Magnifico's desire to keep the wishes in the first place isn't out of any bad or ill will! To say he keeps the wishes because he simply likes to be in control over people because of selfish, cruel reasons is a big mount of bullcrap. Look at how this man treats the wishes! Which by the way, to him, resemble his people!

Ah, yes, sooo evil and selfish and ill willed!

If someone sees this, the pure love in his whole bodylanguage, and still claims that this man is evil, actually doesn't give a damn about his people, and takes the wishes just because "powerhungry" has something really wrong!

Should he decide over other peoples dreams and wishes? Not really! This is a grey area. Back to his duty as a king. A king needs to care for his people. Magnifico takes this very seriously. Thanks to his trauma, a bit too much. This might be "not ok" but it doesn't make him evil. Good grief! Urgh!

He loves his people! He keeps the wishes because he thinks that it gives him a better opportunity to keep watch over them! Why does he want to watch over them and have the control? Out of fun? To satisfy his selfish urge to rule over others? No, because -

"Everything, everyhing I do is to make sure that never happens again!"

It's the very same stupid reason people have been villainizing Abuela Alma from Encanto. It makes me fuming mad that people ignor deep trauma and the mental issues that come with it and make such people out to be villains. Abuela treated her whole family unfairly, yes. She was harsh, inconsiderate, cold, stern, overprotective, insensible etc. But why did she act like that? Because she was hecking traumatized!

After she and Mirabel reconcile, she tells her family this :

"I'm so sorry I held on to tight, just so afraid I'd lose you too!"

Aha! Now taken in consideration that she is also deeply traumatized and I mean, pfff, she saw her home town getting burned, had to flee with her 3 newborns and see her soulmate get stabbed to death or even beheaded (we don't know) right in front of her eyes.

Her desire to keep safe was always good but her trauma blinded her to a degree.

A similar case were people have been villainizing a character for having trauma would be the case of Imelda from Coco. Her trauma of losing her husband and having to raise their daughter on her own caused her to forbid music for 2 generations! She was harsh too, and even though her actions concering this might have been wrong, she meant well. Everything she did came from the good motivation to keep her family from experiencing the crushing hurt she had.

Yet another example I've seen Magnifico defenders bring up would be Elsa! Elsa has been born with ice-powers because she's actually part spirit as we've learned in the 2 movie. She got traumatized as a child when she accidentally hurt her little sister Anna. Her response to trauma brings her whole kingdom in danger, even threatens to kill them by freezing them to death, and when Hans and his guards go to find and kill her, she defends herself and almost kills one of the guards. Yet, despite everything, Elsa isn't made to be a villain! She was supposed to be but in the end recieved love and appreciation, while Magnifico didn't?

It makes absolutely no sense.

Does trauma justify wrong actions? No! But it explains them and it certainly doesn't make someone a villain! Goodness gracious! 😩🤌🏼

Alma was obsessed with having the "miracle" controlled because she was terrified if she would lose that control, her past would repeat. She would lose her family.

Elsa abandoned her kingdom because she didn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

Imelda forbade music because she didn't want her family to experience the hurt she did.

All of this Sounds similar, right?

Magnifico obsessivly wanted to stay in control because he was terrified that if he would lose that control, his past would repeat. People will get hurt and lose everything like he did.

He panicked as an unknown light flooded his kingdom and made the wishes rattle.

The very first thing that came to his mind was "threat." And this was ONLY because of his trauma.

More in part 2 ⬇️

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: The Second (And Final) Odd Squad UK Trailer

Cute that FRP suddenly cares about Odd Squad when they haven't even so much as peeped about it for...what, over a year now? Two years, maybe?

Yeah. Anyway, it seems that PBS had to step up on their alt -- the franchise's social medias, you see -- and grab it from them, because it's clear they weren't gonna do it. Especially not during Hispanic and Latino Heritage Month when Alma's Way is the top dog. (You know how Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood is PBS Kids's golden kid? Alma's Way is FRP's. It's like the Spongebob of the prodco, really.)

But enough stick-up-the-anus cynicism. I did one Seren's Study on the gadget competition results video, and now I'm moving on to the one for the second trailer for Odd Squad UK. Some of it repeats bits from the first trailer, but it's otherwise completely new.

Let's dive below the break!

If you look closely, the badge number says 86.

Which would be fine, if I hadn't run numbers only to realize that neither Orli nor Ozzie have a badge number of 86.

So either someone's trippin' balls or I'm the one trippin' balls and can't math correctly.

What sleep deprivation does to a motherfucker: I saw this and immediately thought of "Two Agents and a Baby" because of the equipment Ozzie was holding. So I thought, "Okay, so they're babysitting?"

It's actually from "Planes, Trains and Oddmobiles". And as I've said before, I can predict, with stunning accuracy, what shots and what scenes line up with which episode. If you've seen the synopsis for "Planes, Trains and Oddmobiles", this brief snippet speaks for itself.

(Makes me wonder...anyone wanna set up a PonyGuessr game, but for Odd Squad screencaps? Would be fun to test your knowledge! I know I'd love one.)

*in about the best Bill Nye voice I can do*

Please...consider the following.

Dino Dex crossover.

(Hey, it's not impossible. If you've been watching this franchise, you know it's not impossible.)

They didn't even try with the house thing.

Is that not the same row of houses from "Training Day"? Am I delulu? Am I tripping? Or is that the same row of houses? Different color, maybe?

...I CHECKED. IT IS THE SAME FUCKING ROW OF HOUSES. BY G O D I'M ON FIRE!!!

Ah, I see we've also got some not-so-subliminal advertising for Sonic the Hedgehog 3 in here.

(See, it's funny because, IIRC, they made a jab at the UK in the trailer. So in a way, you could say they've come full circle!)

Funny how we go from the appropriate reaction one should have to having lightning shoot out of your head to "this is going to fuck up my entire life because I can't wear hats now" in...oh, I don't know...a scene or two, maybe? Five at best.

Ah, and we have our first look at Dottie Doubloon from "A Dicey Situation"! I will say, she does kind of look like a pirate attire-wise, which is what I was hoping for. Maybe she'll talk like a pirate too aaaaaaaand I just figured out the connection between her and Captain O and I need to go absorb my fat lil' body into the grass outside now thank you.

new villains

shows the Icy Mousey about to do a Hadouken

I don't think I need to explain what the direct distinction between creatures and villains are. It's like looking at a dog that bites your hand and equating him to a guy who killed his son. They both did bad things, but only one is an antagonistic animal in the more instinctual sense while the other one is a straight-up villain.

At least they show The Trifler right after...but still. It's all about sentience. Do I need to make a whole-ass sentience chart and tell- just keep rolling with it?

*sighs* Okay, fine...if I must.

I'm sorry...I honestly didn't believe this trailer would make me laugh, but then this guy comes in with a "Gadzooks!" while holding something gross and I lost it.

Behold: genderbent adult-aged Willow from The Owl House has made his way into Odd Squad UK. He's even got the hat on and everything!

new gadgets

shows the tubes

I'm just...I'm fuckin' tired, man. Is this some kind of joke? Is this a game? Because I want a Perplexus ball and not this shit, thank you.

It's like blinking Oprah...Oprah...she do the blink...in "Dance Like Nobody's Watching"...but...but 's Captain O...with a squinty squint...

Alternatively: I lol'd, until I serious'd.

I see Orwell Kubrick has some charm beneath all that "scare the kids but not too much". Good for him.

*with the tightest fucking smile any doctor has ever seen on a person*

"Is that his house? I- Is that Onom's fucking house? Take me to my best friend's house, I loved you then like I love you now? T- The iPod touch circa 2011?!"

I will say, I appreciate the analytics behind each pose here. Lots to dissect, if the Discord server is any indication.

Those five words might've just put a dent in my "ah, they'll drop 'em all on the 1st and forget about it" theory.

It could still happen -- PBS still hates the show, mind you. Netflix, Hulu, and most other streaming services do the same thing. There's a chance. You watch. You watch and see.

--------------------------------------------

Overall, a nice solid trailer. Doesn't exactly stoke any hype in me, but it did stoke my curiosity in finding out what happens. Funny enough, unlike the Season 3 trailer, there's no mention of the big bad or anything. At least there, The Shadow got a couple seconds of screentime. For the Terrible Three, though, there's nothing. Which...concerns me on a number of levels in terms of how well they're going to handle the story arc.

But either way, we've got a week to go until launch date, so I'm not expecting too much else news-wise. Still waiting for BBC to drop those teaser images, and for PBS Kids's main Twitter account to recognize the show and rep it with not-so-subtle lil' hints using past seasons. (Only one of those sounds more plausible. I don't think I need to say which one.)

Like I've said before, my first Seren's Study regarding the new series/season, when it drops, will be an episode followup on "Odd Ones In". And before you ask me if I'm going to be reuploading episodes onto my YouTube channel: clearly you haven't been there for all the times I bitched and moaned on Twitter about PBS, their distribution branch, or their security partner taking down my videos that contained snippets of episodes. It's not happenin'. Given how the series/season getting another season/more episodes is dependent on legal viewership, promoting illegal means of watching it feels wrong. If Odd Squad UK gets a continuation of some sort, maybe they can take steps towards improvement. That's what I'm hoping for, personally.

Seren out!

So, with all that being said, I will see you all sometime in early October for that first followup. Keep your eyes peeled for more news in the meantime, because we could either get a trickle or a flood.

Oh yeah, and if you wanna watch the trailer, view it below!

(Editor's note: Managed to kick open the floodgates last night before I even published this. Teaser images are already up, news articles are sharing bits of info...don't ask me how, just accept it.)

[val-of-the-north]

Wanted to pop in and just say thanks for all your hard work with lore posts! Elden Ring is such a tough game to get a grasp on, leaving so many things up to interpretation. But in the end, there are also things solidly backed by actual lore, and you do such a great job of referencing and adhering to that canon pretty objectively. We all have our biases when we read this info, which leads us into the realm of interpretation. But when posters like you go to lengths to outline canon lore with screencaps and images to back your interpretations up, it's not just helping me see how you reached a conclusion but also laying the info out clearly so I can decide if I agree with that conclusion.

There's a lot of info that gets missed or plain old ignored in favor of either villifying/woobifying characters depending on what people think of them. And then sometimes people make these huge leaps from A to B that are just mystifying and seem to be purely based on "this sounds good to me so it must be right". It's refreshing to see someone trying hard to just present the facts and go from there, without these leaps of faith and desire to change the characters in one direction or another. It's easy to think you're reading things objectively while still clearly interpreting everything with a certain bias that will paint your favs/unfavs in a better/worse light, so your more neutral efforts are a breath of fresh air!

Hey! That's very sweet to find in my inbox... I am glad people appreciate the way I write my lore posts. I strive to be very objective when I tackle these topics, so I am very glad it's noticeable. I still have room for improvement, I will not lie, but I am surely getting better and better! The use of more images in my claims is something I started to pick up on recently, though believe it or not, I used to do it a looooong time ago too, for sillier stories lol. Now they are here to stay though, and they provide a very neat way to space out posts too.

I am honestly really flattered with your words ahahahah. Characters are probably the hardest ones to keep a purely objective lens on, as I do have my own personal opinions and headcanons on them as well as certain events that involve them… regardless, I try my absolute best to not rely too much on those and simply on things I have structured those headcanons after.

Of course, depending on what the lore I am discussing is about, I will be focusing and highlighting particular aspects over others, because I can't make an entire character study every time one is needed. Things would get really bloated and not as understandable really fast! I also avoid fandom tropes like the plague unless I am purposefully making a meme lol. I do dislike when meme/flanderized versions of characters end up popping up in genuine lore analysis (like "absolutely worthless fool" Godrick and "completely irredeemable fiend" Miquella, but there are many more)

To conclude... thank you so much for this! It was certainly a breath of fresh air that I needed too eheh... but I guess since we are talking about lore posts, I could tease that the next thing I wanna tackle has to do with the soul and body in Elden Ring! It's a topic that has fascinated me for some time, and the DLC actually helped me piece together some stuff I had missed from base game! I will try to make it as good as it can possibly be!

[lord-aldhelm]

Aldhelm Character Analysis (and why I love him so much)

The following is a character study and my own opinions. I meant to post something like this several months ago when I started this blog, but I had so much other stuff going on I forgot about this in my drafts, so I am posting it now. I know there will be people who disagree with me, and others who maybe think I am being ridiculous or whatever, but I don't care. This is my blog and I want to share this because it is meaningful to me, and maybe perhaps it will resonate with someone. This is a kind of "about me" but mostly a rambling mess.

Aldhelm means so much to me, more than any other character in any other show or movie I have watched. I have fallen super hard for this man; he has bewitched me body and soul, and just imbedded himself into the core of my being. He is my muse, and has profoundly permeated every creative aspect of myself, from creating this blog, screencaps/edits, gifs, memes, artwork, poetry (don't ask), and fanfics. No one else has managed to do that to me. This show in general, and him specifically, have led me deep into this fandom and made me do things that I have never done before.

My attraction to him goes far beyond just him being a pretty face; my feelings for him are complex and multi-faceted. Of course I think he is exceptionally handsome, and I find everything about him attractive. But I was attracted to his personality long before I was attracted to him physically. The two go hand in hand, and it takes more than just being a hot dude to hold my attention. This show is loaded to the brim with attractive people and yet he is the only one that has captivated me.

I love him for so many reasons. To me he is absolute perfection and I would not change a single thing about his character. He is introverted, quiet, soft-spoken, and dignified. He is highly intelligent, has a calm confident demeanor, and has a great fortitude for dealing with difficult situations. He is elegant and refined, despite sometimes coming off as awkward. I love his quick wit and dry sarcastic sense of humor. I melt whenever he rolls his eyes or sighs with exasperation. He is so pure and wholesome, and loves with his whole entire being. His selfless and unwavering devotion and loyalty to both Mercia and Aethelflaed are unmatched. He sets aside his own needs and desires to serve others, ultimately to his detriment. (He deserved better in so many ways) He has many personality traits that are normally only seen in women characters, while still being very much masculine, and I find that dichotomy incredibly appealing.

Additionally, something about him triggers my nurturing instinct; I want to hold him in my arms and cuddle him for all eternity. He is so unbelievably sweet and gentle, and the way he was so soft around Aethelflaed just melted my heart. In fact. he embodies my idea of a perfect romantic partner. He is so calm, patient, understanding, eager to help out, very devoted and loyal, cares more about his partner's happiness than his own. I feel as a boyfriend or husband he would be very attentive and in tune to his partner's needs. Never arguing, or trying to avoid it as much as possible. Never raising his voice. He would go out of his way to do nice things for them just to make them happy. Acts of service, gift giving, quality time, and humor are his love languages.

But more than that, I see in him a reflection of myself, that I have not seen in any other character or real-life person, ever.

His quiet, contemplative, introverted nature, and preference for solitude matches my own. He is very Byronic/Jane Austen coded, with that brooding moody energy. Like me, he is the kind of person who dislikes bars, parties, or large gatherings of people, and prefers to keep to himself. He comes off as cold and calculating, but inside he is anything but. He is overwhelmed with emotion and allows himself to love wholly and intensely, despite not having his feelings reciprocated. Despite doing his best to hide his feelings, he actually wears his heart on his sleeve and allows others to use him just for the sake of feeling needed. He allows himself to cry, although he does so in private, not because he is ashamed, but because he wants to appear strong for others. He is the kind of person that hides the deeper parts of himself well from others, but I know that if you really got to bond with him, he would show you another side of himself, one that smiles freely and loves openly, laughs and jokes, and allows himself to be comfortable in the presence of others.

He appears to me to be demi/ace coded. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but seeing ace representation on the screen is incredibly rare and refreshing. Especially since his sexuality, or lack thereof, is never really brought up or ridiculed by the other characters (as ace-presenting people so often are in media). As someone who is demi/ace myself, I find his characterization in this way very comforting, especially since I have been ridiculed and downcast over my asexuality. I also find it delightful to see a male character who is not constantly talking about getting laid, making sex jokes, or aggressively pursuing or objectifying women. Much the opposite; he treats Aethelflaed with a level of respect and admiration that women are not often given by men. In fact he treats women in general with a lot of respect.

I feel his pain when he is ignored or his words are brushed off by others time and time again. As someone who has felt simultaneously invisible and freakishly "other" her whole life, I can identify with that strongly. I am always the one who others talk over or ignore in social settings. I have always felt like an outcast, even among my friends and peers. I never feel like I truly belong anywhere or with anyone, and have always felt like an outsider, just drifting along the perimeters of multiple social circles without ever fitting in. It is such a horrible feeling, and I empathize with him when I see him go through the exact same treatment.

I also feel his sense of uniqueness in that, like me, he is neither a leader nor a follower, but marches to the beat of his own drum. He had no desire to be Lord of Mercia even when it was offered to him (which I personally think was a mistake on his part). But I get it; I hate being in charge. I prefer to work behind the scenes and stay out of the spotlight myself. But while I am not a leader, neither am I a follower. I am always doing my own thing regardless of trendiness or popularity.

The biggest difference between him and I is that he is far more patient than I could ever be! He is much more level headed, whereas I tend to be more emotional and have a kind of firecracker reaction, especially when I am in an argument or when something upsets me. I think I would be a better person if I could learn to remain calm and collected during emotionally stressful times.

So, this is much more than me thinking the dude is super hot. And it also goes so far beyond me just thinking he is a cool and interesting character (which he is no doubt). He has actually become a permanent part of me, one that will not be replaced by the next hot thing to cross my screen. Even if I run out of things to post here (which will happen at some point), he will still occupy my thoughts, and I will still be drawing him, and writing for his character for a very long time to come.

[kafkaoftherubble]

Hi! I've really enjoyed your tags on the reblog of the screencaps of The Believers on my sideblog @nonkunchanon. I was wondering what are your thoughts on Monk Dol's next move now that he's been rejected by Dear, whether he would disrobe or not. And I think Pup will be back for The Believers Season 2 though, since at least according to this interview, it seems like Pup is ready to shave his head again to be Monk Dol. Also do you think Win has any feelings for Dear?

HOLY SHIT. With this ask you've basically allowed me to ramble about The Believers. THANK YOU THANK YOU SADHU X100 Also, Pup has an interview?! And he's ready to be Monk Dol again?!

SADHU X1000. Thank you for linking it, fella appreciator!

Okay. I'll tell you what I think, but you're gonna have to reblog this and tell me what you think too, because I'm also interested in your thoughts!!!

---

Monk Dol's next move

Okay! There are two perspectives I can go for: the showrunners' + actor's, and the character's. Judging from both Thai and international fans' reviews and reception, Monk Dol is a really, really popular character, isn't he (who can blame him)? Popularity usually incentivizes bringing a character back for Season 2, and Pup does seem pretty happy playing the character. All that means there are really good grounds to think he'll return, ahahhaha! I'm with you on this one!

However! From the character's perspective, it's a bit more nuanced, methinks!

I, uh, study Buddhist Philosophy for fun, so I can tell you that the biggest reason why I like Monk Dol is that every single dhamma talk/sermon he gave, as well as his character traits and personality, are aligned with Buddhism. In a show criticizing the commercialization of Thai Buddhism (and its relation with politics), Dol provides an example of what Buddhism "is supposed to be about."

I've been rewatching the series every now and then when I'm free, so I got to re-watch his scenes and Dhamma talks. The teachings are actually legitimately correct. Not even "Pop culture-diluted correct" or "I guess it's a correct interpretation," but befitting the dhamma as espoused in Theravadin Buddhism, which Thai Buddhism falls under.

That means Monk Dol's themes and character arc are deliberately woven with Buddhist philosophy, including concepts like anicca ("impermanence") and nekkhamma ("renunciation; letting go"). This makes it harder to write him back into Season 2 without hurting a little of the themes he's supposed to represent, you see?

In his letter to Dear, he talked about how, thanks to his love and attachment for Dear, he realized that "there are many more things about myself that I need to train on." It's a very Buddhist sentiment (the Buddha's last word before death/parinibbana was, reportedly, "strive diligently." You might also remember one of Dol's Dhamma Talks on the importance of self-effort over superstitious reliance on holy objects and the Buddha; it was his first talk since joining Wat Phummaram).

The way he exited the story was him practicing nekkhamma and the sort of "love" he talked about earlier. He also alluded to their interaction as remnants of their past kamma (this is how it's spelled in Pali; it's "karma" in Sanskrit) influencing their current lives.

Just a brief explanation in case you don't understand the "kamma" thing! In a supernatural reading of kamma, the effects of your actions in your past lives with other people can bring over to your current life. Therefore, Dol was saying that him falling in love with Dear/Dear unintentionally "charmed" him was no fault of himself nor Dear, but simply the effects of their collective kamma. He merely saw his experience—of falling in love and being rejected; of being conned and used because of said love; the general dukkha (suffering) of it all—as a lesson illuminating aspects of himself that he should overcome.

Dol recognized that he needed to let go of his attachment to Dear as she never belonged to him; previously, he explained that as part of the Buddhist doctrine of Anattā ("non-self") when he answered Dear's question about love. He also told her not to remember him, which to me, all adds up to him hoping this is it. He's hoping that the effects of their past kamma had burned out.

Now, if they want to continue the Buddhist philosophical theme undergirding Monk Dol's character, then the "good end" will be him not showing up in Season 2 at all. From a storytelling perspective, it makes sense too: his arc has a definite end already.

----

However, I can also imagine ways to pull Monk Dol back into the fold without costing his underlying Buddhist themes. For one, "kamma," to the Buddha, mostly means "action" when it's not "cause-and-effect." While Dol would like to think his kamma with Dear is over, it's also possible that his actions and interactions with Dear—and to an extent, Win and Game—have planted seeds of their own, with their own effects to be reaped. These effects can be explored in Season 2.

Where should he go? He has already exchanged his forest monk lineage for a city monk's, but his idea of Buddhism is embodied in the Thai Forest tradition, not the city ones. Can he return to his original forest temple, though? We saw that he was "punished" by one of the eminent temple monks when Win and Dear were trying to collect sacred ingredients for their amulet.

His changing of lineage was not without consequences, and it's a bit hard to imagine him being accepted back to his original temple easily. Thai Forest Tradition is a lot stricter than other schools in Thailand, and a monk who pivots from one school to another can be seen as wishy-washy, unreliable, lacking in discipline, and rather disgraceful by forest monks.

Hence, I would imagine that he either joins a very remote forest temple far away from Wat Phummaram and the show's central background region... or becomes a solitary monk.

No matter which way he chooses, though, I can imagine him being even more ardent in his practice, and perhaps rather avoidant of female laypeople. Even if he has no intention to discriminate, he might try to overcorrect his previous lapse with Dear by putting a wide berth between himself and other women no matter their intentions. I can also imagine him struggling with the actual process of renunciation, which is never as easy as it might sound. His experience with Dear is going to affect him a lot. Even dreams of her are possible.

And from there, I suppose there are two ways for him to join with the trio's Main Plot. Either he coincidentally gets roped back into their activities, or he deliberately looks out for any news about Dear and her gang because he still cares about her wellbeing.

If Monk Dol takes a more active role, he might gradually come into the line of fire by standing up against this sort of commercialized Buddhism. He might also try to help Dear (plus Win and Game; it's more understated, but Dol also cares about those two. We see it in the interrogation scene) to get out of their quandary.

I think Dol will be quite punished for his actions, though. As in, he'll suffer quite a bit. Not sure if he might die, per se, but I'll suspect something worse than what he got in Season 1. I hope he doesn't die, but that's only because I'm personally no fan of martyr tropes, ahahha!

There are also significant odds that Dol will manage to change Dear and Game's hearts through his actions and counsel once he rejoins the trio in the Main Plot. It will be harder to reach Win, I assume, because Win is the least receptive and warmed up to religions, and his attitude toward Buddhism has been very irreverent. Throughout Season 1, Win's attitude toward Monk Dol has been that of a tech bro looking at his most valuable asset.

Nonetheless, Dear and Game, being Win's friends, can bridge that gap along with Dol and Win's mother. Philosophically, it will exemplify paṭiccasamuppāda, "dependent co-arising"—causes are interdependent with one another as people are also interdependent with one another. Whether that's enough to change their fate in Season 2 is a whole 'nother thing!

That's as far as I can hypothesize about Monk Dol! I'll expect even more Buddhist-flavored character study, a psychological/philosophical arc, and if Monk Dol inclines, a more active counter-power to the corruptive political forces that have claimed Dear, Game, and Win.

Does Win Like Dear?

It's hard to say. I have to put out a disclaimer that I'm terrible at understanding human emotions and especially love because I... personally cannot feel it nor understand it! I honestly didn't even realize that Dol likes Dear until the Repentance Ritual!

I lean toward thinking Win doesn't love Dear or like her the way she—or us normal folks—hopes for a healthy romantic relationship. Win is a pragmatist who's pretty obsessed with "winning." He has a very strong ego; he wouldn't even talk to Game after the amulet business was booming, almost as if he's hoping to see Game climb back to him and apologize for being wrong and doubting him. He also saw no problem using Dear as an unwitting honeypot trap to control Monk Dol, despite Dear being someone who likes him.

I especially love the flashback scene to Dear's mother's passing. You can see Win's character in detail there; he engaged with Dear on a surface level, thinking it's enough to comfort her by telling her facts about death and failing to realize what she actually needed until Dear requested it upfront (it also served as a great contrast to Win's foil: Monk Dol interacts with other people differently. Dol always tries to address the underlying questions, takes time to listen, and only gives answers he believes are beneficial and helpful. He's like this to Monk Ekechai and even the cop who looks like fucking Robert Downy Jr.).

Win exhibited very little empathy for other people. Remember how he didn't help a granny with her bag until he realized he could talk to her while they walked together, so he could fish out any potential bait to lure Monk Dol into their scheme? If I were to describe this particular aspect of Win's character from a Buddhist perspective, I'd say he displays the near enemy of the concept of mettā, "friendliness." He is capable of caring about people only from an explicitly egocentric view, instead of caring for others for their own sake.

This hinders whatever he could have had with Dear, I think. Even if these two get together romantically, I honestly don't think it will be a rewarding relationship to Dear at all. Win is callous to everyone and is more obsessed with feeding his ego through perceived victories against the odds than anything else.

However, I don't actually think Win is incapable of caring about Dear, Game, or anyone else. I can't point fingers and tut-tut Win when I myself am also really low on empathy. In fact, from my own experience, I know that low empathy doesn't preclude apathy or an immutable lack of care. You can even catch a glimpse of Win's capacity for care in how he treated his cat.

Win also clearly suffers from trauma related to his father's disappearance. In true Buddhist fashion, there is an emphasis on cause-and-effect (i.e. kamma) in the show, telling us that he's the way he is precisely because of his experiences growing up.

We can also use his most obvious show of care as a comparison. Win is fiercely devoted to his mom and loves her deeply, and yet he's also dismissive of her thoughts, feelings, and sentimental offers to deepen their relationship. His care for her only showed when his mom was directly threatened, or when he believed his image in his mother's heart was close to being destroyed.

I think this allows the audience a bit of insight into how Win treats his loved one; he's also dismissive of Dear's feelings, thoughts, and needs... and yet that doesn't mean he doesn't care about her. There were times when he clearly cared and relied on her as a friend; he tried to call her near the end of Season 1 when he was feeling emotionally vulnerable as he was undergoing an onset of PTSD, for example.

Can that platonic care become a base for romance? I don't know. But to me, it really shows us that none of the trio are "evil," unlike what Cop RDJ insisted while interrogating Monk Dol—not even Win. In true Buddhist fashion, Win was just deluded ("moha," one of the Three Poisons) and merely needed more guidance.

Since his past is coming into the spotlight at the end of Season 1, going into Season 2, I think Win's character arc has only just begun. Dear and Game will play big roles in that as his friends and confidants, for sure, but this is also where Monk Dol's role in Season 2 can fit (as stated above).

I can't say if Win will end up falling in love with Dear for real at the end of S2 since it's not gonna be my personal subject of interest. But I'll love to see Win's striving in Season 2. As a certain monk says in his letter, I sure hope Win can also be free from his suffering, ahhahah!

Thank you for reading my ramble!